Ch1 •Some of it's game pieces were missing but peddles made a fine substitute. -> its -> pebbles
Ch2 •All the fragments features a tall but very skinny kid -> featured
•Confusingly in some of ^ card fragments, ^ the
•before cold and pain steals them away. -> steal
•that don't scattered out of reach. -> scatter OR get scattered
Ch3 I like it too.
Ch4 :-)
Ch5 •It was ^ very simple game. ^ a
Ch6 • Punny Bruce / punnies > I'm pretty sure you mean Puny, punies.
•such loud, smelly, meanies ->such loud, smelly meanies. > This use of commas (serial commas) goes between members of a set or series. "Loud" and "smelly" are both adjectives modifying "meanies"; they're a series of two, and a comma between them is just fine. But "meanies" is a noun and isn't part of the series.
Ch7 •once and awhile -> once in a while > Does it make sense to you now, spelled out this way? "Once in a period of time".
•he was it next round. -> he was It OR he was "it" > Without some indication, the word looks like it's in its ordinary use. Then the reader stumbles for a minute.
Rest assured that I'm not one of them. I might hold on responding to them if my brain is not up to editing at the moment or making coherent text but they are always appreciated. :)
goodie!
And ttypo-y things, of course.
Ch1
•Some of it's game pieces were missing but peddles made a fine substitute.
-> its
-> pebbles
Ch2
•All the fragments features a tall but very skinny kid
-> featured
•Confusingly in some of ^ card fragments,
^ the
•before cold and pain steals them away.
-> steal
•that don't scattered out of reach.
-> scatter OR get scattered
Ch3
I like it too.
Ch4
:-)
Ch5
•It was ^ very simple game.
^ a
Ch6
• Punny Bruce / punnies
> I'm pretty sure you mean Puny, punies.
•such loud, smelly, meanies
->such loud, smelly meanies.
> This use of commas (serial commas) goes between members of a set or series. "Loud" and "smelly" are both adjectives modifying "meanies"; they're a series of two, and a comma between them is just fine. But "meanies" is a noun and isn't part of the series.
Ch7
•once and awhile
-> once in a while
> Does it make sense to you now, spelled out this way? "Once in a period of time".
•he was it next round.
-> he was It OR he was "it"
> Without some indication, the word looks like it's in its ordinary use. Then the reader stumbles for a minute.
Me likes this.
Re: goodie!
And I'm glad you enjoyed the poems.
Re: goodie!
Re: goodie!
Re: goodie!
PUNY GOD!
Re: goodie!