shiori_makiba | Poem: "Expectations"

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Poem: "Expectations"

Poem: Expectations
by shiori_makiba / Ashley Weyer

Part of ysabetwordsmith's “Polychrome Heroics” series in the “Berettaflies” thread. As always, comments and constructive criticism is welcomed.

Warning: Single utterance of mild (IMO) foul language.

“Expectations”

Everyone has expectations.
Some are their own, some are their parents', and others come from society.
So like everyone else, Keisuke Inoue had certain expectations.

From his parents, there was a few.
A good education but most parents want that for their children.
And his parents weren't crazy about it either.
Just learn as much as you can and get good grades.

Their second was to stay out of trouble.
Again, not unusual expectation from your parents.
This one was harder to accomplish.
Because as a kid and especially as a teenager, you push boundaries
and that can lead to trouble.

Or sometimes the trouble is unavoidable.
People don't ask to be harassed by bullies
and Keisuke wasn't the sort to stand by while someone is getting hurt.
Unfortunately his teachers didn't always see the rescue part.
All they saw was a fight and sometimes that was all they wanted to see.

His parents understood that and simply signed him up for classes to handle it better.
Classes that taught him to try to deescalate the situation first,
hopefully before it got violent.
It was difficult in the beginning.
Keisuke had a nasty temper with a short fuse.

“I'm not saying don't get angry kid,” Mr. Lafayette said.
“I'm saying don't get violent if you don't have to.”

While there was a certain immediate satisfaction to punching some jerk in the nose,
that satisfaction didn't last very long.
At least not for him.
He couldn't look at another kid's bruised face
knowing that he put those there and be happy about it.
He didn't like how scared the other kids were of him either.
So he worked on not letting his anger get the better of him.
It was hard but worth it.

It also set a good example for his little sisters.
Keisuke wanted to be a good example for his little sisters.
It was part of being a good onii-chan.
And he wanted to be the best onii-chan to Tsubasa and Mai.

Maybe that's why this hit him so hard.
He was the onii-chan
and the onii-chan is supposed to protect the little ones.
Tsubasa was an adult now but she was still his little sister.
And it hurt to know that she was hurt, that she had almost died
and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

It is always hard when you failed to live up to expectations.
It was worst when those expectations were your own.

Notes:
onii-chan – big brother. Not the only form of big brother in Japanese and this one is rather informal.
Or least that is my understanding. My knowledge of Japanese is entirely self-taught so mistakes are a distinct possibility.

EDIT: Typo corrections

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It's cool to get another perspective on these events. I suspect that Easy City will be offering "survivor guilt" classes for the folks who weren't directly impacted but know people who are, or are upset by the impact on their community.

Yeah, Keisuke needed to talk so I let him talk.

Re: Survivor's Guilt.
Good idea, shows Easy City and T-America's better understanding toward disaster recovery.

Definitely something Keisuke needs. But he needs to realize that and presently he doesn't see himself as needing that kind of help since he wasn't directly harmed. At least not yet - he's stubborn but not so stubborn that the right clue-hammer can't get through.

Thanks for the feedback!

>> Yeah, Keisuke needed to talk so I let him talk. <<

That's good of you.

>> Re: Survivor's Guilt.
Good idea, shows Easy City and T-America's better understanding toward disaster recovery. <<

:D

>> Definitely something Keisuke needs. But he needs to realize that and presently he doesn't see himself as needing that kind of help since he wasn't directly harmed. At least not yet - he's stubborn but not so stubborn that the right clue-hammer can't get through. <<

The people who come to the first classes about survivor guilt will be the secondary victims: those who weren't attacked personally but know someone who was, or are freaking out over the community impact so bad that it's obvious they need help. Instead of trying to hard-sell the classes directly to more resistant populations, the EFA folks will simply treat the most willing, most urgent victims first.

And those folks will then go around saying, "That survival guilt class helped me SO MUCH" or "I don't know what I'd do without my survivor-guilt support group."

Among the leading reasons people don't seek help are that they don't know about it, don't believe it would actually work, can't access it, and/or think that people would mock or hurt them for going. In Easy City, all they have to do is watch the early adopters. The programs are readily available, clear about what their content is, most of them are free, and they're effective for at least some people. Doesn't mean everyone who needs them will choose to partake, but this approach raises the rate as high as feasible without being pushy about it.

So then the question is, how does Keisuke make his decisions? What would get through to him?

>>Thanks for the feedback!<<

Glad I could help.

Seeing the first wave of people benefit will plant the seeds. Then they just need water from either someone he respects and/or appeal to his sense of duty. For example, if Mai asked him to go with her, he'd go.

It's likely that the open support groups -- as opposed to closed circles -- will have occasional "bring a friend or relative" days. The benefit to regular members is getting a different perspective on similar experiences; the benefit to guests is getting to see an activity they hadn't sought on their own, but might find useful once they see it in action.

He's a very different character, with a distinct voice, and I love that. No one could count how many fics I've clicked away from because the characters all sound like a sports narrator. *G* It's a STRONG addition to the events, too, because the effects do ripple among family and coworkers. You saw how a 'bad' ripple can go, with Haruko's parents deciding to see if they can capitalize on Haruko's situation while it was in flux. Your family dynamics make a wonderful counterpoint!

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad that Keisuke sounds like a distinct person. Since I'm still learning that was a concern.

>>Your family dynamics make a wonderful counterpoint!>>

*grins* Since we believe in telling all the stories, I figured we needed supportive, solid families in the mix too.

Just a warning, if Haruko meets Tsubasa's parents, particularly if his parents are in the mix, he might find himself adopted by caring strangers again with no idea how it happened. And his parents set for a rude awakening. Sora Inoue is a tiny, polite, soft-spoken woman but there is steel under that silk and people would be wise to remember that.

OH, that gave me an evil little chuckle. Haruko is so much betterthan he was when he arrived as a college freshman that it's really hard to see how much he still needs confidence in family, even family-of-choice. He still hasn't realized how adopted he was by not only Abraham, but his circle of friends. That damage will take awhile to heal, but it will improve visibly.

>>OH, that gave me an evil little chuckle.<<

Me too.

>> Haruko is so much better than he was when he arrived as a college freshman<<

I got that impression, yes.

>> that it's really hard to see how much he still needs confidence in family, even family-of-choice. He still hasn't realized how adopted he was by not only Abraham, but his circle of friends. That damage will take awhile to heal, but it will improve visibly.<<

I think he's got the idea of family-of-choice as warm and solid enough to keep the rain off, but not as load-bearing walls yet, if that makes sense. He'll sit in it, but not lean on it.

Perfect description!

But he's learning!

>> *grins* Since we believe in telling all the stories, I figured we needed supportive, solid families in the mix too. <<

Absolutely! :D That's something I think about a lot because there are so few in the mainstream.

>> Just a warning, if Haruko meets Tsubasa's parents, particularly if his parents are in the mix, he might find himself adopted by caring strangers again with no idea how it happened. <<

Aww! <3 this.

>> And his parents set for a rude awakening. Sora Inoue is a tiny, polite, soft-spoken woman but there is steel under that silk and people would be wise to remember that.<<

WAAAAAANT. I bet she would butcher them for all the cross-cultural cockups they perpetrated on Haruko.

>>He's a very different character, with a distinct voice, and I love that. No one could count how many fics I've clicked away from because the characters all sound like a sports narrator.<<

Yep, same here.

My characters have a really wide range. Take someone like Ambrose, he's pretty cerebral. Shiv is far more physical. Stan is a jock but has very high emotional intelligence; Lawrence is an intellectual but a sex/gender expert. All that influences how they think, move, and speak. Some characters have a lot of self-talk and others little if any. It can be positive or negative. So that's really interesting to explore.

>> *G* It's a STRONG addition to the events, too, because the effects do ripple among family and coworkers. You saw how a 'bad' ripple can go, with Haruko's parents deciding to see if they can capitalize on Haruko's situation while it was in flux. Your family dynamics make a wonderful counterpoint! <<

Yeah, it's fun to see more of Tsubasa's family.

This is an outstanding description of a common response pattern. The last verse hits hard.

>>This is an outstanding description of a common response pattern.>>

Good - I'm glad it came out right. You can do research and you can practice but only the audience can tell you if your words came across right. Or give you insight into your words that you cannot see because you're too close.

>>The last verse hits hard.>>
Yeah. Keisuke understands logically that there is nothing he could have done but feelings and logic are often at cross-purposes with each other.

It really does. Survivor guilt is hard to handle for that exact reason -- disappointing yourself.

This is good to read. Thanks.

• some are their parents,
→ parents’,
> Apostrophe (after the plural "s") to make it possessive.

I'm glad you liked it. :)

Error Fixed. Let me know if you spot any others.

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Poem: "Expectations"

Yay!

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Another voice

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Thanks for feedback!

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Thanks Dr Whom